Need "coding" help Memphis/Germantown, TN

I am looking for someone that has the code reader/programmer to make a few minor changes to my 2001 330i sedan:



- lights to flash when I lock the car

- turn signal flash 3 times??? (not sure if this is option)

- turn off the A/C coming on everytime I start

- etc



Or if someone could show me what to buy and how to use it that would be fine also.



Thanks