Been dating this 24 year old girl for the past 10 months or so, if it matters at all I'm 26. We are of similar background, both have met the others' family, and any arguments/disagreements have been petty & are generally smoothed over in a couple days.
I come from a background where 2 of my previous relationships were ended over built-up petty suspicions that escalated beyond repair because both parties (myself included) had admittedly too much pride. This is something that I've tried to learn from and not repeat, and here is where OT's advice comes in.
Things in my current have been a little shaky for the past month, or at least that's the way I'm seeing it. Everybody is insecure to some degree - if you disagree, you're not honest with yourself. That said, I need a reality check on whether or not my suspicions have any merit for further dissection:
Perhaps its easiest to make a list of the most noteworthy turbulence:
- Currently works with someone she previously hooked up with.
- Last week it was revealed to me that her Ex contacted her (she claims no response)
Okay, so above nothing has technically happened from her side AFAIK and it was information she decided to share. But, the discussion was framed was in a very formal and serious manner. Is this a test of some sort? Obviously its uncomfortable knowing both of those avenues exist, but I don't want to come off as a needy insecure prick and confront her if I don't need to.
- Her initiative to make plans has decreased. At the end of every date, we would always map out what we'd do next and when. Over the past few weeks that hasn't happened. I've not called her out on it yet, but trying to feel the situation out.
- Sex drive is still there, but it feels like I almost always need to engage or initiate for things to happen.
I understand life changes, responsibilities grow, and people need time to themselves as well. The rather sudden distance has me taken by surprise, and I'm wondering how to approach the situation. Whether its a discussion, ignoring it completely for now, backing off my initiative in response and gauging her response.. I'd like to hear some opinions on a suitable reaction.
I come from a background where 2 of my previous relationships were ended over built-up petty suspicions that escalated beyond repair because both parties (myself included) had admittedly too much pride. This is something that I've tried to learn from and not repeat, and here is where OT's advice comes in.
Things in my current have been a little shaky for the past month, or at least that's the way I'm seeing it. Everybody is insecure to some degree - if you disagree, you're not honest with yourself. That said, I need a reality check on whether or not my suspicions have any merit for further dissection:
Perhaps its easiest to make a list of the most noteworthy turbulence:
- Currently works with someone she previously hooked up with.
- Last week it was revealed to me that her Ex contacted her (she claims no response)
Okay, so above nothing has technically happened from her side AFAIK and it was information she decided to share. But, the discussion was framed was in a very formal and serious manner. Is this a test of some sort? Obviously its uncomfortable knowing both of those avenues exist, but I don't want to come off as a needy insecure prick and confront her if I don't need to.
- Her initiative to make plans has decreased. At the end of every date, we would always map out what we'd do next and when. Over the past few weeks that hasn't happened. I've not called her out on it yet, but trying to feel the situation out.
- Sex drive is still there, but it feels like I almost always need to engage or initiate for things to happen.
I understand life changes, responsibilities grow, and people need time to themselves as well. The rather sudden distance has me taken by surprise, and I'm wondering how to approach the situation. Whether its a discussion, ignoring it completely for now, backing off my initiative in response and gauging her response.. I'd like to hear some opinions on a suitable reaction.
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